Machynlleth v Bont XI

The boys from Bont ventured north to the Powys-bordering town of Machynlleth, or as the English holiday makers call it "My Cunt Left". This day out on the piss was rudely interrupted by a game of football, where Bont XI rocked up with 8 and a half fit players. Dean Coleman was was ill, fullback Llion Jones had hurt his back playing rugby for Tregaron in the annual Boxing Day clash against Aberystwyth and the lump of gristle that is Ifan Jones-Evans was tired after spending the morning clearing the yard at the farm. Defender Trystan Jones was missing due to an ongoing back problem, which according to Ifan "isn't a proper injury and is bollocks".

Within minutes of beginning, Bont were losing. With the Bont defence as watertight as a cattle grid, Mach had a free header inside the 6 yard box and lead 1-0. Mach soon had a second and things weren't looking good but thankfully nothing else happened and it was 2-0 at halftime.

After a team talk which could have motivated Mr Motivator by manager and goal keeper Rhodri Morgans, Bont bounded out of the changing rooms for the 2nd half. Big centre-forward Gethin Evans was far too keen and as he leaped over the railings to get onto the pitch, his hand gave way and he tumbled to the floor with the grace of Humpty Dumpty. All the Kings horses put him back together again while all the inbred locals hurled abuse at him. It turns out they hadn't laughed at seeing a heavyweight rolling around on the floor since boxer Audley Harrison's last fight.

The second half was more interesting than the 1st and if there would have been a 3rd half, it wouldn't have been able to match this. Keeper Rhodri Morgans pulled off 2 fantastic saves, prompting the shooters both times to say "Well done Keeps". After the second save, which was going wide anyway, the Mach number 2 even said to their manager "I thought you said he was shit". Goals 3 and 4 eventually went in, and despite showing great spirit, Bont found themselves 4 down.

Regardless of the score, centre halves Ceri Jenkins and Sion Jones didn't put a foot wrong, apart from when Sion put both feet wrong with a poor pass-back. Luckily for him the Mach number 9 fell over the ball and his shot was blocked.

The day got worse for the Mach number 9, as Ceri Jenkins completely upended him with a brilliant tackle, and when he got up again Jenkins smashed him once more, then their legs tangled and a small scuffle broke out. Both players were booked, giving Jenkins more bookings this season than a successful wedding singer.

Chasing the game, Bont made changes, bringing linesman Dan Morgans on as Ifan Evans, the man who said back injured were bollocks went off injured with a, yes you guessed it, a bad back. Injured defender Owen Evans, who had a dangly bit of his anatomy that he doesn't use very often (that's his appendix) removed 2 weeks ago went to run the line, because new signing Llewelyn Hughes couldn't do it because he was wearing flip-flops.

The changes made a difference, as the biggest cheer of the day came after a first-time left footed strike from Dean Coleman hit the back of the net. The game ended 4-1.

In the changing room after the game, the #BontLads were upbeat. Mainly because it was time to get steaming, which was the opposite of the showers as they were cold. Quote of the day goes to Chairman Dicky Mint who came in and said to Dean Coleman "Good goal Dean, I didn't see it, I was looking the other way"

After chicken burgers and chips, everyone proceeded to wear Christmas jumpers and get smashed on Gin until the early hours! Let's hope the new year brings a victory or two, as nobody could remember when Bont last won a competitive game.

Final Score - Machynlleth 4 - Bont XI 1

#SaysItLikeItIs
#BadBack
#IDidntSeeIt
#Railings
#BontFC

Awdur / Author: Ceri Jenkins via Facebook

Cerbyn CPD Bont ar y ffordd i herio Machynlleth