Bont XI vs Kerry

While trotting horses ran around a half-mile circuit half a mile down the road at Rasus Tregaron, 2 teams turned up to kick off another season in Spar Mid Wales Division 2. Bont have a new manager - Rhodri Morgans, who turned up in a suit to mark the occasion, faced Kerry, a team consisting of a lot of knobheads. Morgans asked the boys to get changed slowly, as that's the way he normally gets himself going when in Blackpool. 

The warm up consisted of running, passing, stretching and sex positions as Ceri Jenkins and Sion Jones executed a perfect doggy style. After copious cans of Red Alert energy drink before kick off (all out of date) - Bont fired out of the blocks going 3-0 down in 20 minutes. Goal one was Kerry's first attack and a decent strike, goal 2 saw centre back Trystan Jones ignore his keepers call and attempt a clearance leaving an open goal and goal three was sheer comedy. The Kerry Number 11 was offside as the ball came aimlessly to Bont keeper Trevor Jenkins. Advantage was called, ignored by Jenkins who kicked the ball straight back to the onrushing striker. The ref hadn't blown the whistle, and like a northern Irish traveller in Peru, he was fucked and had to go through with it and award the goal. Fortunately he won't face jail time, but got a mouthful from Suited and Booted Bont manager Rhodri Morgans who barked like a defence lawyer until he was red in the face, which he actually was when he turned up. 3-0 down, outplaying the opposition Bont scored through Michael Lowe. 3-1 halftime.

The second half was a lot different to the 1st. Mainly because both teams had swapped sides and playing in different directions. Bont made it 3-2 with 15 minutes left after Michael Lowe got his second.

Gwynfryn Fingers Hughes went off on a stretcher even though he didn't need it, Ryan Gosling Hopkins limped off also leaving Bont with more dodgy legs than a KFC family bucket. With 10 men, Bont threw everything at Kerry, and in time added on in time added on added on, Ginger Winger Andrew Gilbert shot from 25 yards and equalised. The keeper didn't move and was as helpless as a woman who just put nail varnish on. 3-3 and the teams left like parents normally leave court after fighting for custody of a child - equal but one thinking they should have full custody over the other.

Final Score Bont XI 3 Kerry 3

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