Bont v Newbridge

After making the mistake of thinking Bont were playing Newbridge last week, Bont XI played Newbridge today, and might play them next week just for a laugh. With a few players missing due to holidays to Poland and work, Bont gambled by playing 18 stone (give or take a few tones) rugby player and cross fit wanker Gethin Evans up front, former TV presenter and huge-arsed Ifan Evans in midfield and manager Rhodri Morgans even put himself on the bench to make up the full squad of 14.

The game began, as it normally does with kick off, followed by Bont having the better chances, followed by Bont going 1-0 down. A cross came in, the ball bounced around and ended up in the net. Disaster.

It should have been 1-1 soon after, but heavyweight Gethin Evans and prima-donna winger Wil Ellis decided not to score but striker Michael Lowe, who needs to work on his celebrations did score after shooting straight through the keeper and it was 1-1 going into the adverts.

After some weak blackcurrant squash to drink, some freeze spray and deep heat to a few sore legs, Bont left the changing room with more injured calves than a negligent dairy.

A 30 minute period began the second part of this average to poor story, which was as exciting as an episode of Emmerdale. Eventually something happened and with the upper hand, all of Bonts hands went up as Wil Ellis's shot from 6 yards was on its' way in only to hit Giant Oaf Gethin Evans who was standing on the line hanging onto the net. It hit him in the pectoral muscle, better known as his 34C and the ball bounced out. Bont appealed but it was no goal. 

The game ended 1-1, and Bont trudged up the steps to the changing rooms. The chat in the showers was mainly about trimming and shaving of pubic hair, and how it's wise to oil up before doing it. That's oil up your electric trimmer, not your balls as a few excited players thought.

Quote of the day goes to Big Man Gethin Evans who said "that's the 1st 90 minutes I've played since I was 14" If he means stone, that's his first 90 since he was 11.

Follicley-challenged substitute Douglas Cowie won the raffle after some miscommunication. Rumours were that the prize was a bottle of shampoo - no use for a man who carries his dandruff around in his pocket. 

So It's 3 games played for Bont XI and it's a total 3 points meaning Bont have drawn more this season than Neil Buchanan.

Final Score Bont XI 1 Newbridge-on-Wye 1

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